Stuck in the Middle with … Myself

So often, when I am out walking in nature, be it among the trees or near the open water, my mind is so clear that I create entire blogposts with ease.

Then, when I get home, aka back to reality, it’s all a blur!  Poof!  Gone!  Cannot bring it back, save for a few words and random thoughts!

If only our minds were little recording devices, then I could hit the rewind button and dictate my thoughts on the screen.  As advanced as technology is, and I know this is still the tip of the iceberg, I rather think that I wouldn’t want that true ability because, well, that’s just too damn out-of-this-world-sci-fi for this girl!  I haven’t even had a smartphone for 3 years!!!  I stay a bit uninformed, untethered to technology …. again, just the tip of the iceberg is okay for my simple livin’!

Anyway…some of the randomness that has permeated my consciousness on several mornings while I walk the sandy shores of the Gulf, either solo or with Chris (our weekend ritual of Saturday and Sunday beach walks are now our normal!!!): the meanings, some multiple, of my tattoos and those to come; stepping out of my comfort zone to video myself doing workouts and sharing them on a YouTube channel; how challenging it is to find work this move and wondering if it is the Universe pushing me to move on some creative projects; how strange it is that we are living at the beach, something we talked about for way in the future (during semi-retirement); that 45 is upon me and how it is just a number, but it can feel both weight-y and weightless.

So, while I haven’t been all that consistent on putting up posts, they have been created!  HeeHee!!!  But rather than sit inside at my laptop, I have rather enjoyed putting on a bikini and laying poolside.  Catching the rays, listening to the breeze in the palm trees, getting sunkissed … searching for the meaning of life!

OK, not really that last one!  But we are living in a primarily 55 & over community, so there are plenty of “older” folks with whom I chat and observe.  Some are active seniors, others, not so much.  Some are working, others fully retired.

I am reading some old books and trying to “figure” things out at this point.  Also searching for work, applying to and interviewing for jobs.  Wondering how to best utilize my time and how to coordinate multiple gigs to my best advantage.  Watching some TV (yes, some of the Real Housewives franchises help to pass my time!!) and can recommend a new show “Girlboss” on Netflix!!

We are making the new digs “home” while enjoying the perks of a beachside condominium!

I am kickstarting a new class at the gym down the street, beginning next Thursday: 9AM cardio kickboxing.  I have chatted with other gym bosses, full of potential but not always conveniently located.  (The ones with the most opportunities are also the furthest away, so to take over one class a day isn’t the best use of my time!  Damnit!!)  I think I am going to have to build “my business” at 2 closer gyms, which is one more reason for me to get on my YouTube channel and see if I can’t get some online clients!

I guess I am in the midst of designing my life … something I have wanted, but also something that is daunting.

It’s the ol’ “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” scenario!!!

And something I feel requires me to dig deep, search inside myself for what I really want, kick my own ass and say “You know you have the ability, the charisma, the drive, the knowledge!  DO SOMETHING BIG WITH IT!”

Have you been there?

Are you here right now?

Can you give a girl some advice to help navigate these waters??

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